Status...On hold

I have not blogged because I did not really know what to say.... We were worried about company issues and my visa status in this country, but we have not heard a thing from anyone, so I guess its all good. My tests came back as positive for Hep B... I have no idea where it came from, had to have been from a dirty needle or another procedure done at the hospital. Of course there is no way to "prove" that and no lawyers here anyway to discuss a lawsuit. We have decided to put the baby-making things on hold for now... for several reasons. We know that Jack has been exposed and we are thinking (hoping) he has immunity due to vaccinations that he has recieved before but we are not sure. I think I would be able to go ahead and have a healthy baby if they recieved the vaccinations at birth, but I really just dont want to go back to the hospitals here for any reason... (for obvious reasons)

I know that this kind of stuff can happen anywhere, accidents happen, but I just dont feel safe there anymore, because if it was just carelessness and not a "real" accident then who knows what else they are "careless" about...

So we are just kind of on hold I guess, with everything. I just cant wait to get back to the states for a vacation...for good. I think I just need a break from this place, I am mad "at them" all the time, but cant really put my finger on who "them" is...

I dont understand how this could happen to us. I think we are pretty good parents to Hunter, I dont by any means think that I am the best, far from it, need improvement every single day on something but I tend to think that is how many or all parents feel. So I just dont understand how people who are 15, or using drugs, or beat their kids, or in some other way are immature can have as many children as they want, and here we are struggling with something that comes so easily to others... On top of infertility I have to become sick as well... I dont get it...