I have not posted in a long time, those 1 of you who actually read this blog know. I have not felt like doing much of anything recently, or for a month for that matter. I have a strange feeling that this blog will soon become more of a fertility (rather infertility) and my going ons of that rather than anything more. I feel the need to write down my thoughts, maybe on a day to day basis, maybe not. I think it will help. It is a very strange thing to have to go through. I find myself just now really "dealing" with it although I know it has been an issue for a long time.
So I figure it will help me to write down my emotions, thoughts, rants, and complaints to deal.
So Jack and I started seeing a fertility doctor (well ob) and started our journey in Febuary. The first month she started me just on metformin, a diabetic med, for controlling my blood sugar spikes and insulin levels, commonly a problem for patients with PCOS. This med made me very nauseous and shaky especially if I did not eat properly and a full meal before taking the med. She said that many patients will concieve just on this med alone without the need for further intervention. I had my fingers crossed but no such blessing came our way.
The second month was sort of a "test" month I guess. She started me on Clomid (pills to signal your ovaries to prepare eggs for ovulation). The Clomid worked in a way, I developed many, many eggs in my ovaries but all were very very small. So she also started me on Gonal-F injections to delay ovulation and mature the eggs further. I took 7 injections and then she gave me an HCG injection to stimulate ovulation. I did not ovulate, with lots and lots of pain in my abdomen, lots of fatigue, and just all around crappy feeling. My lower abdomen hurt like crazy, making anything, even sitting a chore. On day 20 she checked with ultrasound again to make sure I had ovulated, and had not. I had 5 eggs on my left side, and two on the right, each were more than 36mm in diameter (HUGE!). no wonder I was in pain.
Anyway, she gave me another pill to take, the hormone progesterone, and the next day I am pretty sure I finally did ovulate. I had the worst pain like someone had stabbed me in the gut on both sides right down to the bone with a huge chopping knife.
So I waited to do a pg test thinking I would wait for the symptoms and late period first before doing that. What I did not expect was to start my period on the 31st of March. I did not figure it was even due till April 4th, since I did not ovulate until the 21st. I guess I was wrong. I could not believe it. I figured that at least one of the 7 eggs would fertilize and work...
I am not super disappointed, this is only our second month. But it is very hard to wait. The meds are expensive, and it feels like a waste of money now. I took a pg test this am just to be sure before starting our next round of meds. We wont be doing the injections this month, I am kind of glad, have to look at the bright side of things and keep positive. Those injections are so painful, they burn like fire in your veins! And I am really not ready for the pain in the abdomen again for two weeks or what ever it was. But at the same time, I dont want to give up, dont want to quit, and dont want to lose hope. But I do not have much optomissim about the pills alone and no injections. We shall see what the doc says about that tonight.
So in the short of it, no baby this month... maybe next.
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